The Dirty Little Secret of Personal Growth: Questioning Your Most Cherished Beliefs Can Actually Make Them Stronger.
- DBarrera_813
- Sep 22
- 4 min read
Several years ago, I found myself wrestling with questions about the beliefs, assumptions, and ideas I held most deeply. In the middle of that inner struggle, a thought flashed through my mind:
“Question everything that is dear and precious to you precisely because it is dear and precious to you.”
That thought caught me by surprise but the more I thought about it the more that phrase became a kind of personal compass for me. It gave me a way to navigate my own beliefs and assumptions, especially the ones I felt most attached to. Over time, in the appropriate contexts, I’ve shared this idea with clients who were wrestling with similar challenges. To my surprise, it resonated with them too.
It became clear to me and my clients that this was a kind of dirty little secret about personal growth: when we dare to question what we treasure most, those beliefs don’t weaken, they often become stronger.
For me, that little phrase has become a guiding principle for me and a reminder to keep testing and re-examining ideas as they come up in life. And for those who prefer something simpler to hold onto, here’s a more everyday version:
“The things we treasure deserve to be tested, so we can know that they’re worth holding onto.”
Why Questioning What We Treasure Can Be Healthy.
At first, the idea of questioning what we love or believe can sound unsettling, it's almost as if we’re betraying ourselves. But in psychology and self improvement circles, we know that taking a closer look at deeply held beliefs is not about tearing them down. It’s about strengthening them.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), one of the most widely studied approaches in mental health, encourages people to examine their thoughts and assumptions. The goal isn’t to prove ourselves wrong, but to test whether our beliefs actually serve us well.
Research shows that this process helps people reduce anxiety, improve mood, and make choices more aligned with their true values.
Similarly, existential psychology reminds us that life’s meaning isn’t handed to us, it’s created through honest reflection. Thinkers like Viktor Frankl and Irvin Yalom and others have written about how courageously facing life’s “big questions” such as...
What gives my life meaning?
Am I living in a way that feels true to myself, or just following others’ expectations?
How do I face suffering, loss, or even death without losing hope?
What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind?
These types of questions helps us grow more authentic and resilient. Questioning doesn’t weaken our faith, values, or commitments; it deepens them.
Philosophy has echoed this idea for centuries. Socrates famously urged people to live an “examined life,” believing that unquestioned beliefs lead to shallow living.
Questioning, then, isn’t a threat to what we treasure, it’s a way to ensure those treasures are real, durable, and worth building our lives around.
Putting This Into Practice
So how do we apply this idea in everyday life without feeling overwhelmed?
The key is to start small and gentle. You don’t have to question everything all at once.
Instead, you can set aside a little time to look at one belief, value, or assumption that feels important to you and ask a few simple questions:
Where did this belief come from? Did I inherit it from family, culture, faith, or past experiences?
How does it serve me now? Does it bring me peace, strength, or direction? Or does it cause guilt, fear, or conflict?
If I let this belief go or changed it, what would open up in my life?
If I keep it, how can I live it out in a way that feels more authentic and life-giving?
This isn’t about finding “right” or “wrong” answers. It’s about giving yourself permission to pause, reflect, and choose with intention.
You might be surprised by what you discover. Sometimes you’ll realize a long-held belief is still solid and worth keeping. Other times, you’ll notice it no longer fits the person you’re becoming, and letting it go can free you to grow.
Closing Thought
The dirty little secret of growth is that questioning what we treasure doesn’t destroy it, it refines it. By daring to test what matters most, we deepen our relationship with it and build resilience, clarity, and authenticity along the way.
As the simpler version of the maxim puts it:
“The things we treasure deserve to be tested, so we can know they’re worth holding onto.”
Ready to Talk About It?
If something in this blog hit home, don’t wait.
Too many people stay stuck simply because they never take the first step.
Sometimes, all it takes is one honest conversation to see things in a new light.
That’s why I’m offering a FREE 15–20 minute consultation.
No Pressure, No Obligation, just a chance to share your story and see if this approach can help.
About The Author
My name is Daniel Barrera, M.Ed., C.A.R.T., LPC Associate.
I’m a Licensed Professional Counselor Associate in Texas, and I work with people who are facing tough challenges in life. My goal is to help you understand yourself more clearly, break free from old patterns, and build healthier relationships at home, at work, and within yourself.
I believe real change starts with self-awareness and self-compassion. With those tools, healing becomes possible, growth feels natural, and new opportunities open up.
Blog Disclaimer
The content on this blog is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace professional mental health care. Reading these posts does not establish a therapeutic relationship, and the information provided should not be used as a substitute for personalized mental health treatment.
If you are experiencing distress, struggling with your mental health, or believe you may have a mental health condition, please consult a licensed mental health professional who can assess your unique situation and provide appropriate guidance.
In case of a mental health emergency, please seek immediate support by contacting 911 or a mental health crisis hotline such as 988, reaching out to a qualified professional, or going to your nearest emergency facility.
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